Zen Quipper Pillows

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Showoff"

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

Enlightened Cursing

Attack Of The Guy From The Other Room

Airport

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

Working from OM.

"It's either enlightenment or excruciating boredom."

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

I am one with stupid.

Binary Meditation.

"Mom?"

"Exactly what is this 'nothing' I've been hearing so much about?"

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'

Zen Litter Box

"I used to be a young crazy rebel like you you know."

'Frankly I'm all meditated out.'

"Since both of us believe in reincarnation, what if I pay you all the money I owe you in the next life?"

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

"My mental ink pen ran dry.

Broad Minded

'At least with math and physics you sometimes find the answer.'