Quilting Aficionado Gifts

The Texas Chainsaw Quilting Bee

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

I quilt therefore I am

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Ironing Punctuation

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

My Literary Influences

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Well, the falcon cannot hear the falconer, but the rough beast found a piece of string so I don't know where that leaves us."

Library

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

"You have to pick the places you don't walk away from."—Joan Didion, Penny, Joan Didion.

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

A vicar is reading 'The Great Begatsby' written by Abraham.

"Just the slippers is fine!"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

Crotchet

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Lord Byron

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

"But think of the S.E.O. if the title actually named the two cities."

The Meeting