Quiet Life Aficionado Gifts

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Club Antisocial

Hush puppy.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

"I hope this is the right wine for reading and ignoring one another."

Working from Om

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

Go away

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"Is something bothering you?"

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. you know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

Desert Island: 'Offer Lessons of Meditation.'

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

Free Little Library

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"