Quiet Life Aficionado Gifts

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Club Antisocial

Hush puppy.

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

"Sigh...Another sherry Harold...Go team ect."

Man reads a book while seated in a loveseat as a cat peers over the seat at him.

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"Not now, Matthew. This is Daddy's quiet-desperation time."

"I hope this is the right wine for reading and ignoring one another."

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

Working from Om

'Phew! What a day! I almost lost my aura of supreme tranquility.'

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"Is something bothering you?"

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Go away

"Personally, there's nothing I like better than to curl up in bed with a bad woman."

'The key to inner peace? A land line.'

'Do you have anything on obtrusive personality disorder?'

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'That's where he goes to regain his sanity.'

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

"Hey, Eli, would you and your little friend mind getting as far away from me as humanly possible?"

Desert Island: 'Offer Lessons of Meditation.'

Shut the F#%* up! (Formally Shhhh!)

"She also sits up there so she doesn't have to talk to anyone."

Free Little Library

"As weed-whackers go, it's a little quiet for my taste."