Quilting Gifts

Trevor had misunderstood Lisa's invitation to come over a make love with her.

I quilt therefore I am

Make do and mend

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

Crotchet

"If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt."

A second life for Grandma's quilt.

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"You threatened to quit if I didn't give you a raise, not quilt."

'When it comes to improving teamwork skills, Mr Binder, you have to crawl before you can walk.'

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

Slow-Embroidered Quilts.

"Larry! Not my grandmother's Amish star quilt!"

The Gramma Awards

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

"You stand accused of multiple thefts of winter bedding. How do you plead?"

"This is amazing! From way up here all the fields look just like a giant patchwork quilt!"

"This may not seem as harsh as our other labor camps, but these guys really hate quilting."

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Quilt fanatic

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Of course we can share needles, Mildred.'

'If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt.'

'I love it, grandma! Thank you for the thong quilt!'

"I really wouldn't worry. The person performing your operation is one of the country's finest quilters."

Outlaw Quilting Bees

The Texas Chainsaw Quilting Bee

'You threatened to quit if I didn't give you a raise, not quilt.'

"Marcia's into quilts."

"Your honor, we find the defendant quilty on all counts."

Quilting Bee.

"It's Amish."

'You threatened to quit if I didn't give you a raise, not quilt.'