Technological Tranquillizer Gifts

"In memory of the departed, for two minutes, we will keep our phones on silent."

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

No Instruments Please

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Have you ever tried buying lots of stuff?"

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

Computer Time Bomb.

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"It's no use. I came here to get away from it all."

"Yep. Looks like I'm pregnant again."

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"What was it like to wonder?"

'Mommy!'

Betsy's not too happy with Ralph's new turbo milker.

"Didn't I tell you to limber up before you started channel surfing?"