Competition Calmers Gifts

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

Fishing Boat Derby

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

Runner going through hurdles.

'I win!'

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"Wow, fishing sure is fun. I can't believe I caught such a big fish my first time out."

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

"We just want a vacation --- we don't want to learn anything."

"Foul!"

"This new guy's really good!"

'Jack's foursome gives out trophies at the end of the year...he came in fourth!'

Obedience School Spelling Bee

"It wasn't me jumping up and down and yelling in class. It was the sugar talking."

Don't laugh. It's added three points to his scores.

You are no longer in jeopardy.

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

'...and before we ask the $100,000 question, we've enclosed Carl in our sealed soundproof booth.'

Scott finds Amundsen got to Pole first and cries

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

'Congratulations - you advance to the next round.'

'Before I throw can you tell me if my feet are behind the line?'

"So, when did you first have these overwhelming urges to spend �100s on therapy?"

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

"Today, shocking news when it was revealed that the World Staring Champion has tested positive for Stare-Roids!"

Football face-off.

Mind Your Valuable Grey Matter

"If they want it so bad, maybe we should just give it to them."

'Remember, Robin, our sales competitors are the rich and we are the poor.'