Quilter Gifts

A second life for Grandma's quilt.

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

"I really wouldn't worry. The person performing your operation is one of the country's finest quilters."

"It's Amish."

'Of course we can share needles, Mildred.'

'You threatened to quit if I didn't give you a raise, not quilt.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"It's a lot of work, but a quilt lasts forever."

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"Do me next."

I quilt therefore I am

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Crotchet

Forty-five words per minute? Impossible!

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

Quilt fanatic

Great Moments in Computer History: Betsy Ross sews the first bar code.

Quilting Bee.

James Boswell

Outlaw Quilting Bees

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

Quill

Make do and mend

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

"If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt."

'If you get chilly, use that crazy quilt.'

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

"Nana" Technology

"You stand accused of multiple thefts of winter bedding. How do you plead?"

Quill helpline

Poet

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

Porcupine Acupuncture

Woman writer writing romantical about writing on her unromantic computer

Writers