Quicksand Escapologist T-Shirts

HELP WANTED - man in quicksand

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Cake Escape

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"I've never been this excited about an anal probe before!"

'For the life of me I can't see how cooking over a fire, bathing under a spigot and sleeping on the ground can be fun!'

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

Houdini 2019

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'No! I don't know why they call it quicksand when it takes so long to kill you. Now shut up and help me think of a way to get out of here.'

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

Wilkins refused to sink to their level.

'Hard left, Doctor-hard left! Don't go and land it in 2020!

The head of a man sunk in desert sands

Tortured by music

"For god's sake, man! Quick! Blow out the candles!"

Desert Island Game

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to put a climbing wall in the exercise yard.

"Above the ceiling is plenty of duct space, a perfect hideout for when the in-laws visit."

"Why don't you take up a sport,son-like long distance running-away from home...?"

"The thing you have to know about quicksand is the faster you shake the shaker the faster you sink,"

'Talk about rough courses!'

Submarine Disguise

"Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Harold. You're holding up the whole group."

'I still have a soft spot for my ex- like quicksand!'

Dancers caught in quick sand.

A man leaving at the exit notices the 'ninja exit'.

'Help me, help me!'

"Thank God for the elephant."

"I'll comeback to rescue you after I find my ball."

'I don't want to tell you how to play your game, Dave. But now might be a good time to concede.'

Dog in a lift.

'Where do you suggest for my need to be taken hostage?'

"I'm trapped in an elevator - wait, it gets worse."

'He's cracked that whip for the last time. You cut left of the tree, and I'll go right.'