Quick-witted Conversationalists Gifts

PSA Banter.

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Jokes machine.

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

The Algonquin Round Table

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

"This may be the wine talking, but I'm wasted."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"So, what is your star sign?"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

Bat out of Hell

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"Try the fish. It's brain food"

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'