Quick-witted Conversationalists Pillows

Said Cohen? Who's askin? Someone who is about to make your dreams come true. Why? Are you gonna let me yell at you until you bleed? Caustic. Quick-witted just as Facebook led me to believe. What the heck are you talking about?!?! Nothing. Ready to experience pure joy? I'm ready to attack!!

PSA Banter.

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Jokes machine.

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

The Algonquin Round Table

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"This may be the wine talking, but I'm wasted."

"So, what is your star sign?"

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

Bat out of Hell

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

'According to my Dad, bosses are just like headmasters. The only difference is that they give you money every month.'

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Have you ever licked cream off a woman's body?"

"Try the fish. It's brain food"