Flirtatious Conversationalists Gifts

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"Want to score some flu shots.?"

'I just like tequila for the worm.'

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

No, no, don't tell me … you lost weight? You cut your hair? Wait, did you used to wear glasses?

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"Develop your social skills. Share information about yourself so people will want to talk to you." "I like to dissect animals."