Queen Of The Colony Gifts

'Him? No, he's just the drag queen ant.'

The Three Wise Queens

Miss America IQ Pageant

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

Cat with Crown.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

Queen.

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'I came to the new world to find something...now what was it?'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

Inanimate Mom-isms...

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

Pin Cushion to roll of cotton: 'Hi! I'm a pin cushion! I love my job!' Pin Cushion's reply: 'MASOCHIST!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."