Quotable Queen Gifts

Inanimate Mom-isms...

The Three Wise Queens

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"Bed Spread"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

"Your Majesty, my voyage will not only forge a new route to the spices of the East but also create over three thousand new jobs."

Cat with Crown.

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

Cleopatra

Are you printing your own book? No, it's my mailing to agents!

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"And then at 3 you have a meeting with the royal pain in the butt."

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

Freddie Mercury

This problem began in the 1950's...

'Now, don't panic, but just as a precaution, I think you should put the country in your wife's name.'

'Sure, but king benefits aren't portable.'