Quantitative Humorist Gifts

"Caution! Now entering the margin of error."

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"You're going to hate yourself."

Intelligent people laugh too!

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Archimedes statue with a lever

"I said slime."

Optimist

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Schrödinger and his cat

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

Bell Curve. Bell Curve after a few beers.

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'Sheep striptease'.

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

Auguste Comte

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

Satis Factory Tour