Qualifications Gifts

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

"...and I'm proficient in two languages ? English and text messaging."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"I'm sorry, but you're under-overqualified and over-underqualified."

'This is Liam, Dad, one of the few people with a degree in both tree hugging and extreme cartwheeling.'

GCSE's

"Sorry, but you're overqualified."

Newly Qualified Teacher.

Qualifications

"Is it a BIRD?...Is it a PLANE?...No it's the new student nurse from the Marsden ward."

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

'Center for rat race studies'

'I didn't say I majored in business administration - I said I took business administration.'

"I didn't get the job. They said I was over-qualified."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

'Being able to 'Raise the Dead' is all very well but I'm afraid it's not much use without the appropriate qualifications.'

Fun with Underemployment

"I see you have a N.V.Q and a M.B.A."

'I exaggerated on my resume and I was still underqualified.'

400 words per minute! Is that typing or shredding?

"Yep, that's a new sign: I've just finished my law-degree..."

"Don't breath a word to anyone, but I'm never leaving graduate school."

"We normally require a high school diploma, but I guess I'll let it go since you have this honorary doctorate from Cornell."

"Sorry, go on, I was just distracted for a moment by all my qualifications."

America's Rich Tapestry of Unemployment

'With these qualifications, the only thing I can suggest is a career as a Big Issue seller.'

Printer shop selling fake diplomas surrounded by businesses set up by their customers.

"The position requires a minimum of 2 GCSE's you appear to have only 10 of these 'O' Level thingies"