Pylon Humorist Gifts

Finally, a good personal-pylon.

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

'Flight simulator'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Snowman ice fishing.

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

"It's my helper trout!"

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

"About time they did something about the rats!"

Arresting Adam and Eve

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

Punch Initials - O

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

"We want you to design the drainage system so that we have a muddy backyard..."

Mask Autumn