Putting Perfectionist Pillows

It's only a game, It's only a game...

Golf lessons

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

At the golf detox clinic.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

"I'm practising my dropping."

'Drat, another hole-in-one. Pity really - I was looking forward to some putting practice.'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Not that slowly back...'

'Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five,twenty six...'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I think I see your problem...you're standing too close to the ball...after you hit it.'

golf

"Duh!"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

"That putt, was a bit too hard!"

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'I know I'd be a better putter if I could see the ball!'

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

"You've been stamping the ground for ten minutes now, I think we can assume it isn't going in."

"Yes, you can marry my daughter, as long as you get out of the way, please."

'Oh belle pute!'

"Nice putt."

Keep calm, play golf.

"My husband's hobbies are gardening and golf. When he's not playing in the dirt, he's playing in the sand."

'Your best ever drive Fred, long and straight. Unfortunately the hole is this way!'

"I don't think I'm ever going to get a hole in one!"

The disadvantages of easier golf courses...

'It's easy to hit, but a bitch to putt!'

'Excuse me, Old Timer, but you're in my line of fire!'

Golf cart---How's my driving & putting>

'Whenever Ralph finds a golf ball he puts it in the basement.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'