Puttering Perfectionist Pillows

I came up with a foolproof way to knock ten strokes off my game...

The wonderful world of cheese.

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Surreal ale

Golf lessons

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'Not that slowly back...'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Just a drop."

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

Quality Contorl.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'