Puttering Perfectionist Mugs

I came up with a foolproof way to knock ten strokes off my game...

The wonderful world of cheese.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

For sale - Used only Once.

'We don't want to risk having any injuries during spring training.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

"Just a drop."

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

Santa's Out Tray.

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

Quality Contorl.

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.