Putting Perfectionists Pillows

'How many strokes did you say?'

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

Surreal ale

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Besties Photo

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Perfection

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."