Putting Perfectionists Pillows

'How many strokes did you say?'

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

Surreal ale

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

'Not that slowly back...'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

". . . but he's almost four and he hasn't been labelled yet!"

'Even in the mundane tasks, aim for perfection!'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

For sale - Used only Once.

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

Perfection

Besties Photo

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

"You're welcome."

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'