Putt Perfectionists Pillows

Sink the putt or else!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Surreal ale

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'Not that slowly back...'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

"Just a drop."

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Quality Contorl.

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

Warren knew the importance of getting down as low as possible to sight his putts.

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

'On this hole you don't drive, just putt.'

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

Ventriloquist's fete

King goes golfing.