Putt Perfectionist Pillows

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

A man playing golf.

Don't Drink and Putt - or even try to putt.

Ted knew he was in for a long day when his opponent patiently waited for the snail to crawl out of his putting line.

"It's putting, not puttering."

"Ignore him, Geoff, they just can't help themselves!"

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Surreal ale

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

'Not that slowly back...'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Well, no wonder you can't think! There's your brain over there on the floor!"

"Just a drop."

Quality Contorl.

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'You had a 9 on one, a 7 on two, a 10 on three, a 23 on four...that hurt...'

'It's a nice font but before deciding we'd really like to see your font library.'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

'Oh no. How are you going to get it out of that little hole?'