Putt-putt Professional Pillows

'I guess I don't have to tell you how disappointed I am with sales on the front nine.'

"The goal is to hate yourself."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

Serious Putty

'Lost your ball again?' - 'No, I've got my ball. I've lost my club.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

Tee for Two!

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

'Call it a hunch...but I don't think he feels too confident.'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'This has to be the longest course I've ever played!' (Sign with Gas/Food/Lodging Next Tee)

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

"Don't rush me, I've got to get it right!"

A man holding a golf club eying up his shot

'Did you see a ball come this way?'

Golf

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

'I thought we'd get a merger agreement, so I arranged for our accountant teams to be on hand.'

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

Rory McIlroy

'Have you found any golf balls in there.'

'Would it be alright if I just did a little putting?'

Sink the putt or else!

I've had a fantastic round, I've even got a ball left over!

Using a sink plunger to retrieve a golf ball.

Golfer's Dog Is His Caddy

'I need 1000 bucks to tide me over until my ship comes in!'

'Honey! Come quick! I just putted four balls into the jelly jar with my new grip!'

Ted knew he was in for a long day when his opponent patiently waited for the snail to crawl out of his putting line.