Pacing Perfectionist Pillows

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

Bullseye!

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

Job Interview Gone Bad.

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Ironing Punctuation

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'Am I the first one here?'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Nice park. . .