Pacing Perfectionist Pillows

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

Bullseye!

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Dating an English Major

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Ironing Punctuation

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'Am I the first one here?'

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Man kicking Exclamation Mark.