Puppet Admirer T-Shirts

"A little lower to the left. Ah, yes, that's it, right there."

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'It needs more barrel again, and believe me, I know - I used to be one.'

"You never said anything about a menage a trois!"

"I'll sign you up right now, provided you ditch the no talent big guy."

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

Pinocchio using his nose as a fiddle

Now in Widescreen

Ventriloquist and his dummy both on mobile phones.

'Let's go to Tracy Island, the grass looks really nice there!'

Roscoe contemplates self-employment

"I'll make a deal with you. You don't push my buttons, and I won't pull your strings."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

Ventriloquist Grave

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"I don't know, do you think we evolved from the sock monkey?"

'Just reading the minutes back will be sufficient.'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I see the critics say I need a new partner.'