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"A little lower to the left. Ah, yes, that's it, right there."

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'It needs more barrel again, and believe me, I know - I used to be one.'

'I'm tired of all these dropped calls. My wireless phone service stinks.'

"You never said anything about a menage a trois!"

Ventriloquist smoking. Ventriloquist's dummy coughing.

"I'll sign you up right now, provided you ditch the no talent big guy."

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

Pinocchio using his nose as a fiddle

Pinocchio: The later years...

'So, do you still have feelings for this Hanes person?'

Now in Widescreen

Ventriloquist and his dummy both on mobile phones.

'Let's go to Tracy Island, the grass looks really nice there!'

'Do you want to try that again?'

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood. Greetings.

Roscoe contemplates self-employment

"I'll make a deal with you. You don't push my buttons, and I won't pull your strings."

A Puppet Named Juan

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

Leslie Caron.

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

'He does.'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

"I believe we have a quorum for the meeting."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

Octopus Puppet Show (colour)

'Oh, I don't have a problem, doc. My friend here has a problem.'

Bride with a ventriloquist's dummy.

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"