Pup Professors Gifts

Professor Barkowitz's school for Canine re-education

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

U of Debt

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

'Hey Winston, this is my dad. He's obsessed with sitting.'

Bearded Leftie.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"My husband's the academic. I just like to travel. I'm more of a pandemic."

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

Dog training

Scientists continue their research on the Hippocampus.

Teacher and students.

'I don't believe it - if this evidence is correct it'll rock the very foundations of our research grant application.'

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

Examiners.

A Brain Drain

'Fred, rumor has it you're closing in on some profound, elemental truth about the universe, and I wanted to remind you that our research funding specifically prohibits that!'

Great moments in science. . . 'Nice work, you've isolated the funding gene.'

Dr. Darrin found her peer review process unnerving.

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'