Pup Psychoanalyst Gifts

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Dog training

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Four Star Meal

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"I think I'm a big dog."

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

Bad Dog!

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

Tough Guy

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

You read the instructions upside down.

'I dunno... I've lost my confidence, Doc. Some days I feel like I'm only a borderline Collie...'

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

'I must advise you to stop sticking your nose into everything.'

Doggie with trust issues.

The meaning of life...

"If I didn't bark incessantly for no reason whatsoever I think I'd go mad."

I wonder if he can think.

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all the nuance goes right over her head."