Pup Psychoanalyst T-Shirts

Dog on couch at psychiatrist office talking about love and liver snacks

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Dog training

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Four Star Meal

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"...and this is Sheila. She's my main squeeze."

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I think I'm a big dog."

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

Bad Dog!

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

"Believe me, I'm accustomed to being analyzed by my cat."

'I dunno... I've lost my confidence, Doc. Some days I feel like I'm only a borderline Collie...'

Tough Guy

You read the instructions upside down.

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'What about the arts? I need to learn MORE than just obedience!'

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

The meaning of life...

'I must advise you to stop sticking your nose into everything.'

I wonder if he can think.

Doggie with trust issues.

"Oh, she hears the bark, but all the nuance goes right over her head."

"They think they're accidents."