Puppy Psychologist T-Shirts

"They think they're accidents."

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Bad Dog!

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

I wonder if he can think.

'You're allowed up on the couch.'

A pointless conversation.

"Yes, you're definitely a good boy. Your only fault may be that you care too much."

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Licensed Therapist

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"Meow."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"Last night I dreamed I caught my tail."

"Actually I never loved you."

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

'I suppose this means you won't be fetching my slippers anymore.'

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"Mi chiamano Mimi, il perche non so. Sola, mi fo il pranzo da me stessa."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"I need a hip replacement but I believe they're looking at a dog replacement."

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

I hear you, man. Look, if you need anything, my door is always open.