Pup Guardian Gifts

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Cats on Board.

No Soliciting

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"Don't even think about it."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

A day in the life of a dog.

Take You Home

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

'Not only is he cute and smart but he's had all his shots too.'

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

"No not the puppy please"

Four Star Meal

"Invisible fences, voiced activated pet doors, automatic pet dispensers, how's an old dog supposed to keep up with all this new technology."

"Yes, they've hired a professional dog-walker! Frankly, I would have preferred a dog-runner or at least a ball or stick thrower..."

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

"Try to act scared...he thinks he's a Rottweiler!"

'It's great: My Masters are poor, so I don't have anything to guard and they never leave me to go on holidays...'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

"The best way, son, is to bury your bones in airtight containers: it will keep them clean and fresh..."

"He calls it an 'accident' but you and I both know that was no accident."