Pup Protector Gifts

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

'Aha...Hmmmm...tsk, tsk, tsk!'

'Forgive me father for I have sinned...I ate a paperback and pee-ed on the carpet.'

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'It's true what they say - we're a nation of dog lovers!'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

No Soliciting

"If you're my best friend then why did you have me neutered?"

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"Don't even think about it."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"That's just not the real me."

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Orange Bengal Tiger

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Have you seen little Spotty?'

Save our seals - "I doubt my little vote will make any difference."

Four Star Meal

Save me versus Feed me.

'Be careful, I hear he kills cats.'