Pooch Protector Gifts

'I already have a home security system.'

"That's just not the real me."

Extra-strength flea collar.

'Is it growing?'

"Is your dog friendly?!"

I'm really proud of him, he's just got his first 'dogbo'...

Missing Persons: 'He took our dog out walkies six months ago and I'm really missing that pooch...'

"If one of them touches me..."

Man at complaints window with dog biting his arm.

The Dog whisperer.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'He's always on heightened alert.'

Ronato: Good Dog.

"Master adores me and saves every dump..."

"No! Don't even think about it!"

"Stop, stop!! You can't pour a concrete slab there: that's where I've buried my bones! Stop!"

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

No Soliciting

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Don't even think about it."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"