Poultry Protector Gifts

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

'Proud yes, but enough to try it again!'

Damn. Avian flu hit hard.

Bird Flu in Mexico.

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Waiter fights off chicken.

'She thinks of them as her children...'

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

"Listen girl! That is a rotisserie! Get out of that house! Get out!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

Endangered wildlife 'Lost' posters stuck on trees surrounded by rubbish

The Golfing Accident

"Don't even think about it."

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

The melting polar ice caps

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

'Hmm ... wonder how much ivory fetches these days.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

"That's just not the real me."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...