Pig Protector Gifts

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Head over Hooves

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

No Soliciting

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

"And with you on guard, I won't have to worry about that monster under my bed."

"Don't even think about it."

Hamlet

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"That's just not the real me."

'Since the North Pole melted and we had to migrate south our camouflage stinks!'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'I'm sorry young lady, but you're not old enough to be free range!'

Save the termites.

'Jurassic Pork.'

"We're looking for a 5000 step walk."

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"Someday, my son, that will mean you."

Pig philosophy class - 'I'm pink, therefore I'm ham'

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Orange Bengal Tiger

"Is the slop fresh?"

Larry's snout was as clean as a whistle...this made some a little edgy.