Punny Sibling Pillows

To hat and hat not.

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

PET THEORIES

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"Better luck next time, kid."

Bathroom Fairy

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

I think you meant to huff 'n' puff at the next house over.

The Charge of the Kids

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"I don't get it either, but my mom keeps telling me to hang up the phone, so I do it to make her happy."

Fade to black...

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

A balloon vendor hands a child his only 'good' face out of many,less than desireable faces.

'He took a fetching class.'

Take You Home

C'mon boy, speak! Speak!

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

'The real story behind the Princess and the Pea.' A queen saying to a little girl eating, 'Eat all your peas or else you'll have to put them under your mattress.'