Punning Performer Gifts

Baroque Dance Studio

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Hard to follow...'

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

Note Book

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

Self Raising Flour

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"We should have taken a eweber."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Blue Tit Bank.

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

"I'm married to a control freak!"

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

Baby Grand Larceny

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"I'm afraid you've got a serious case of polka dots."

Wordilly Durdillies - Unidentified frying object