Punning Performer Gifts

Baroque Dance Studio

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Hard to follow...'

Note Book

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'Gluten-free manna will come in the second salvo.'

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Self Raising Flour

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

'Hopefully this will not have a negative impact on my dinner.'

"We should have taken a eweber."

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'We could have saved an awful lot of bother and just given him a shot a hole.'

Blue Tit Bank.

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

"I'm married to a control freak!"

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

Surfin' the web.

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

Baby Grand Larceny

'I hope you get an ice cream headache!'

Wordilly Durdillies - Unidentified frying object