Puncture Survivor Gifts

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Barbeque Casualty.

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

'Time for your pills.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'You have an 85% chance of surviving this and 20% chance of wishing you hadn't.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"It wasn't a carcinoma at all- it was just an itty-bitty attorney."

Sporting maladies.

'You've got a broken finger.'

'...And in case of program crashes, this model comes fully equipped with an air bag!'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

'Well, at least we were able to remove that pesky hangnail. So, you have to be pretty stoked about that."

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'The hospital food was terrible, but the savings were substantial.'

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."

"Hey, I'm just happy the transplant worked at all."

'Gee!'

Medical Treatment.

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

'If it has the word 'ectomy' after it, I've already had it.'