Cheek Pinch Survivor Gifts

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Barbeque Casualty.

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

"Relax, Billy, they're just braces, even I had them when I was your age."

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"Remember, Nanook, no kissing for a couple of days."

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

Road Construction Blues.

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

"Yes, I was a little late again, but it isn't like I have any control over the traffic or how many daily puzzles keep coming out!"

Espresso Lanes

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

Family having barbecue in traffic jam.

'Clifford found that during heavy traffic one small prang and his airbag could double as a pillow.'

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

'Hold on, I have to throw a little road rage at this guy beside me.'

Road Rage Venting Center (next exit)

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

'The good news is that we're going to name the disease after you.'

"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."