Cheek Pinch Survivor T-Shirts

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

Barbeque Casualty.

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"Relax, Billy, they're just braces, even I had them when I was your age."

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

'If you have a toothache, take the day off, you would be useless at work anyway...'

"Remember, Nanook, no kissing for a couple of days."

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Lost in the shuffle, Bob refused to stop and ask for directions.

Road Construction Blues.

"Get me this! Get me that! Get me..."

"Yes, I was a little late again, but it isn't like I have any control over the traffic or how many daily puzzles keep coming out!"

Espresso Lanes

Taxi in congestion - Thank you for not getting out and walking

'So there I was thinking I was in lipo-sculpture, when really it was Colonic irrigation...anal vapour-blasting more like it'

Using a runner to pull a tooth.

"No, I've never been to the Hamptons, but I have been in hellish traffic."

'Clifford found that during heavy traffic one small prang and his airbag could double as a pillow.'

'No giving-up smoking in the workplace.'

Road Rage Venting Center (next exit)

'Hold on, I have to throw a little road rage at this guy beside me.'

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"Slammed the door in your face, huh? Guess she really meant that NO SOLICITORS sign!"

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

Family having barbecue in traffic jam.

'The good news is that we're going to name the disease after you.'

"That was Elijah. He's stuck on the Garden State."