Key Misplacement Survivor T-Shirts

'I've turned the house upside down, but I still can't find my car keys!'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

Emergency Pants

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

Dave invents the remote belt

'He needs professional HELP!'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

'Throw them back They're not what nine out of ten eye doctor's recommend for dry eyes when stranded on a desert island.'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'We're in a hurry.'

'I've made a radio using coconuts, salt water, and a trout.'

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, so we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

Tax grab.

'What luck!'

"We'll let you know when we find your luggage. Meanwhile, you qualified for our frequent lost luggage club."

"Actually, this time we're not being asked to do more with less. Instead, we're being asked to do whatever we want, somewhere else, effective immediately."

Airline concerns.

"We're thinking... this year just send us to whatever country our luggage is accidentally sent to!"

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

Stranded Techie Needs Batteries

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

"I hope you like sandy beaches, fresh ocean air, and bumper to bumper traffic"

Welcome centre

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."