Puncture Practitioner Gifts

Acupuncture Treatment Room. My acupuncturist used placebos on me today.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Punk Reindeer

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

Boating Reflection

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

Tree piercings.

Pinocchio gets a piercing.

The school's security staff began to think Fred was deliberately taunting them with his latest body piercing.

-You seem certain he'll win the second race! -Yes, because he's in the FIRST race!

'I KNOW this is insect repellent and not after-shave lotion.'

'Like them? They mean, we're engaged to be engaged!'

Last night in a bar I said to a woman, "I can't get no satisfaction." I figure if it worked for Mick Jagger, it might work for me. Did it get you any satisfaction? It got me a lecture on grammar.

Oprah and Phantom of Oprah.

You may kiss the bride but be careful of her lip piercings.

'... and to think this is the same kid who was terrified of getting a shot at the doctor.'

"I've got a punture in the back wheel." "Just raise the saddle up."

Fakir Repairs

'It sure didn't pay to increase my vocabulary that time!'

Body modifications

'You haven't asked me out in weeks. Would I like to go out to a movie? No thanks I'm busy!'