Puncture Specialist Gifts

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Punk Reindeer

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"Lady here wants to put £5 on Cambridge 'Each way'!"

What happened to "will work for food"? Will write funny gags for food. You Fusco Brothers need funny gags way more than you need your lawn mowed.

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

"It's easy to test yourself. Go to sleep at night and if you wake up alive the next morning, you didn't die of Corona overnight."

"When's the last time you shaved, little buddy?"

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'

Boating Reflection

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

'I don't care if your friends all did it too - you look like an idiot!'

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

'Sorry I'm late - my wife's tongue stud got snagged on my nipple ring.'

It was the Tube logo what gave me the idea

"Now that's a match made in heaven!"

'Kids today!'

Pinocchio gets a piercing.

Tree piercings.

Check out our nose ring special for the bull market investor.

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

'I was let down by the old bouncy castle.'

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

'Never accuse me of not lending a hand. I've just sewn your bicycle patch on.'

"Nice lip piercing."

'I've told you before: Don't let your tongue touch your nose-ring when it's very cold!'