Puncture Enthusiast Gifts

'-it was an attractive young lady collecting for the new acupuncture Unit.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

'DO you know what time we start here?'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

Self Raising Flour

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

'At first his nose ring irritated me, but then I made him tie a string to it. Now I can lead him around.'

'That was Mr.Osgood, sir. He's just made his final payment.'

"Seriously, the way you rasied me it's no wonder I can't get a gig in a real night club."

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Orange navel has ring

"I'll pencil you in for recess."

"We should have taken a eweber."

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

'Wow...This could be the beginning of a fantastic career...A sales coach is waiting for you. He wants to hire you as a bad example.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'I don't care if your friends all did it too - you look like an idiot!'

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'