Piercing Aficionado Gifts

Please be gentle. I have a very low threshold for pain.'

Tattoo shop - "How may I hurt you?"

Overly pierced man in a lot of pain.

'He's perfectly adjusted to his peer group. That's what I'm worried about.'

'I know it's a cry for help, but couldn't you just, like, say, 'Help?''

"What are your parents going to say?"

'You are neither tattooed, nor pierced, or have facial hair - how creative can you be?'

"The preacher kept blessing us at our wedding. Each time he saw Eddie he said 'Holy cow!'"

'I give it two minutes tops!

"And after I'm through with this, I'll show you the exciting array of other body-piercing services we're now offering!"

'Body art shop - nose studs, genital rings, kneecaps drilled'

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

"Like I said, there's no commandment specifically banning body piercings or facial tattoos - it's just not recommended."

Orange navel has ring

'I'll call you back from a pay phone. The cellular phone is picking up interference from my tongue stud.'

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

'What wine goeth betht with a pierthed tongue?'

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

"I can't believe you got one of those ear gouges."

'Love your piercing!'

None of the piercings hurt except the forehead bolts - I got those by accident at my construction job. Detroit Pencil Company.

'Teenagers!'

Punk Reindeer

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

'I got fired, Amy... I hate it when that happens!'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

'Clarice, you know our rule. You cannot date anyone who has...'

'Yes, the wood on this pencil is from a renewable source.'

Pencil sharpeners in hell

'Now don't complain Mum: You started it by giving me my first nose-ring...'