Papercut Survivor Gifts

"I got a bad papercut from my health magazine!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Storm in the out tray

Desert Island BBQ

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

'And in conclusion.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

"Stress is often associated with feelings of 'isolation'...It's really important that you see yourself as valued, as useful!"

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."

It's a big misconception. Everyone thinks hell is all fire. Actually, it's all paperwork.'

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

'Frankly, we're looking for someone very much unlike you.'

'Hows it coming?'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

I accidentally deleted your report, Bob. Figures. Coffee maker's broken, Bob. Figures. Forget those changes I asked you to make, Bob. Figures. Bob, your flight is at 5 a.m. Figures. I need you to stay late, Bob. Figures. No, Bob, your plan doesn't cover dental. Figures. It wasn't exactly the six0figures job that Bob had hoped for.

'Apparently the new boss is a real Queen Bitch from Hell.'

'How can a man jump out of a window if the damned window can't be opened.'

'I don't like your attitude, Peterson, whatever it is.'

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

"Between you and me he's not the easiest man in the world to work for."

"And in order to align the designated objectives withthe fiscally driven cross functional departmental...did you understand any of that?" "Only the blah! blah! bit."

Essay Paper.

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

'Working from home again, Jerry?'

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"I can't promote you to that position ... you'd be perfect for the job."

I'm sorry, but I have to let you go, Harpic- the office is going open-plan.

'He just had a near-work experience.'

"Oh, him? He's BORED CERTIFIED."

CITY HALL, NO PROBLEM IS TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL., 'Oh, no, your problem isn't too big or too small - it's just too difficult.'

... and I'd suggest you take more frequent breaks from your computer.

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'