Papercut Hero Gifts

'Hows it coming?'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"You've been served."

'Cover me... I'm going in.'

'Thank you for not guessing.'

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

'I'm at that awkward age when I can't read my own handwriting. Do they teach penmanship in college?'

"Number two all over but leave it shaggy on top"

'Does this pen come in another font?

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

"It's always Roy G. Biv this, Roy G. Biv that. Never Burnt Sienna!"

Two boys having a water fight.

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

"Aye, I be Red-Beard, Master of my ship, Lord of my crew, bloodthirsty terror of the seas... but I still can't sign for Marketing without a delegation form."

Protest sign editors: 'End Layoff Now!'

A Reasonable Time to Give Your Travel Agent a Call

"I got a bad papercut from my health magazine!"

'You constructed a beautiful work table. You're a talented woodworking legend in your own life.'

"Going anywhere nice to smash up on your holidays this year sir?"

Children on harnesses being pulled apart by their mothers.

'I race around town and rescue people who lock their keys in the car!'

"Are you able to do anything that other people can't?"

"No, those aren't my diplomas. They're my regulations."

"Honey! Come quick and bring containers. The zucchini are running wild."

The good fireman, bad fireman routine.

'Whatever became of those artists who would cut silhouettes from black paper?'

"I scribbles notes from my meeting with the doctor. Trouble is, only a doctor could read them."

"What a place! - Even the wings are plastic. . ."

'Here, use this as a paperweight.'

"I found a great way to keep my yard from tangling as I work."

Violence erupts at Scrapbooking Expo 20113 when Marge Durwitz refers to her longtime rival Janet King's work as 'crapbooking' once too often.