Hose Hero Gifts

The good fireman, bad fireman routine.

Two boys having a water fight.

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Say speed

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

"Fire one shot if you find a waterhole or two for a coffeeshop."

Watering the garden in the rain.

Zdeno Chara

Bring It On!

'I'm racing him in the 4.30.'

Way to go

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

Goalie Wall.

Speed limit 70mph and up.

Giant sandwich bags.

'I'm sure we'll hear about his hole-in-one!'

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

You look like a team player. I like that!

"It's always Roy G. Biv this, Roy G. Biv that. Never Burnt Sienna!"

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!

Visual Gag Hosiery Hosiery for Hoses of all types

A man working on a model airplane

'I am glad I never caught any rabbits! I've been living off the royalties ever since!'

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

Mat Trick

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'