Hosepipe Hero Gifts

Watering the garden in the rain.

Domestic Superheroes!!

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

I love Basketball.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Say speed

"Yes, they come out white than white, but when they went in they were blue."

Zdeno Chara

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

'Oh, no! A crime wave!'

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"I'm not just cleaning up - it's part of a conversation I'm having with Mum."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

Way to go

Giant sandwich bags.

Speed limit 70mph and up.

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

Goalie Wall.

Having a poltergeist is actually quite handy..!

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

"You lick, I'll dry."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Athletic Darwinism.

You look like a team player. I like that!

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

'I don't mind helping with the dishes, but I'll be damned if you think I'm scrubbing off six years of grime.'

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

A 'failed' brake check!