Chimney Hero Gifts

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

Non-Drip ?

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Make up your mind. Next exit 500 miles.

Say speed

Watering the garden in the rain.

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

Santa hosing the Chimney.

Way to go

Giant sandwich bags.

"Uh-huh, I see... and how did you get along with the other adopted sections of this highway?"

Speed limit 70mph and up.

'Isn't it great?!'

A 'failed' brake check!

'Most of all, I want a long-term highway bill.'

2019, 2020 and 2021

Santa relaxes by Fire

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Two boys having a water fight.

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

'I leave in three weeks.'

The cost of wildfires

Abandon all hope,you who enter here.

The overly travelled road

Two hoses, one labeled 'H2' and the other '0'.

Pied Piper gets rid of industrial chimneys.

Truck scale to weigh the truck as well as a 'trucker scale' to weigh the driver

Sanitizer

Smart Motorway

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'