Chimney Champions Gifts

Heating costs.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Santa Claus Poops on the Chimney of the world.

Santa Elevator

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'It's self cleaning, and runs on natural gas.'

'Isn't it great?!'

Christmas card access

2019, 2020 and 2021

Santa relaxes by Fire

"I envy you. I'd love to have a house with a fireplace."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

Pinterest shaming

Pied Piper gets rid of industrial chimneys.

Santa friendly home has giant chimney.

Coronavirus Warriors

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

Sanitizer

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."

'Damn. I managed to get down this one last year...'

'Santa Clause would never of fitted through that fireplace, so I've widened it.'

'I think the eight reindeer just look tiny by COMPARISON.'

The Postman's Winter Delivery

Never give up! Unless it's really h.....

'No, I didn't start smoking again! That's chimney you smell!'

'Atkins Diet, my Aunt Fanny!'

Farmer Pickles never knew how close he came to having the perfect Christmas.

'You mean, it's not a laundry chute?'

Finally, after millions of years, evolution solves mankind's smoking problem.

Factory Chimney

"As impressed as we are by your masonry skills, sir, I'm afraid that's no guarantee of a mortgage these days."

"I said it's not often one gets one's chimney swept by a person with a B.A. from Sarah Lawrence."

Soot Nav.

Grooming Tips

'I wish my owners would fit a cat-flap!'